In loving memory

This week Jill, my best friend in high school, was killed in a car accident. I am having a very hard time comprehending it. This picture was taken exactly one year ago this weekend when Jill, Marie and I gathered for our unofficial, very mini-class reunion.

I remember being nervous when I pulled in that gravel driveway at Jill's acreage. Except for one summer in college, and a few random phone calls or emails, I hadn't seen her since our freshman year in college and I hadn't seen or talked to Marie even that much.

And yet, as soon as Jill welcomed us in the door and the flurry of kids and pets settled down, I remembered exactly what it was that I've always admired about Jill: come as you are...no need to be nervous. The other amazing thing about our friendship was that no matter how long it had been since we talked or saw each other we picked up right where we left off and it held true for this visit too.

I also remember being so happy for her. She seemed truly calm and happy. She had these loveable little girls who gave us a tour of the house and introduced us to ALL of the pets; she had an adoring husband and she had this really warm-feeling home that you could just picture chilling in as a family.

As the news of her death has been weighing on my mind and weighing on my heart, I wanted to write down some of the things that I truly enjoyed about my friendship with Jill.

• We could talk about ANYTHING. Sometimes you have friends who you can't talk about certain things with, for whatever reason. And that's fine, I respect those bounds. But with Jill we talked about everything, and had some really good thought-provoking talks. Jill was always educated and well-spoken and passionate in the arguments that she made, but in the end she respected that you were entitled to your own opinion.
• Jill didn't care what other people thought. If she liked something, whether it was an "unpopular" person, an unheard of new song, a weird new outfit, whatever, she went ahead and enjoyed it. She didn't worry what other people thought, she just did her own thing. And the funny thing was, usually the things she liked ended up being the cool or popular thing later. But even if it didn't, she stood by her opinion.
• She was truly happy for other people and she truly saw beauty and value in other people...all people. Sometimes that's hard to do, and yet she always did it.
• She was fun. I remember countless Friday nights cruising around in that tan Ford Escort eating Taco Bell and listening to Lisa Loeb or White Zombie, or in later years the Dixie Chicks, just laughing and talking and doing random fun things as we went.
• You could count on her. If you needed a ride, money, the shirt off her back or a floor to sleep on, she'd be there for you in a heartbeat, no questions asked. But there'd be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on if you needed it.

These are just a few of the things. I know that she will always be in my heart, but it saddens me to know that I won't get to see her again. Even though we didn't see each other a lot, it never seemed to take long to get back to where we were.

Here's to you, Jill, and the awesome friend that you were. May you rest in peace, and know that you were loved.

If you're the praying type, please say a prayer for my friend Jill and her family. She left behind an adoring husband, two very sweet daughters, a loving sister & supportive brother-in-law, two adorable nieces, a loving mom and a big-hearted teddy bear of a dad.